Friendship wasn't meant for convenience and neither was love. - Me

Everyone has that thought of being alone when they're older, no one wants to grow old alone, it's always with someone else, how your goals in life are along the lines of, travel here, do this, do that, enjoy your life, I have only one or two. I daydream about being an angel, being able to save people, to see them smile to have the world be protected upon an angel's wings, but most of all, I wanted to be a husband, a father. Some men complain about their wives bitching, and the wives complain about the men being lazy, and then they divorce is over because the "romance" is over. I want to show them that a relationship is what it is, there's the ups and the downs that's it's a gift to have someone to even hold at night, to have someone that loves you. It's not easy having that happen, my life hasn't been easy and I've lost a lot of people... In the end I'm sure loyalty is what's gonna kill me, not old age, not a gun, a car... but loyalty... I'm loyal to those that are my family, my friends... and I've shown more then I've needed with my loyalty to my friends. To the point where I know they're stepping all over me, but there's nothing else I want more, then my friends... I'll just lay on the puddle and make sure they get to the other side safely. I don't know if you care... if it matter's how one person feels... after all, isn't it your feelings that matter at the end of the day? another person's worries is just going to be forgotten. For me I can't just let it go at the end of the day, everything is born precious to the world, the golden hearts to the silver tears, how a baby's soft smile and little giggle can captivate my eyes and ears and fill my heart with tears.

We fear our hearts and what we may become, or what may become of us. We fear what we don't know, we choose not to take risks because of the unknown, fear grips us to suffication. To me... even with the thought of the one I care about backstabbing me, not loving me, being shot down... I can't let it stop me... I don't want it to stop me, my fear of being alone at the age of 65 will kill me... I can't stand 47 more years of loneliness... but my past experiances have shown nothing but that.

The isolation has made a home, where it can be safe and sound.