Friendship wasn't meant for convenience and neither was love. - Me

I do wanna try, if falling for you girl is crazy, then I'm going out of my mind - Hedley. I never really cared for this song... but she showed me it, I ended up making a play list of the songs she told me to listen too.

I wish we weren't so far apart, I wish the companies would just lay off, I wish people will just be honest enough to not take every little thing for themselves.

We have a heart, why can't we learn to love? If we have a mind, why can't we work together? We have a body, what's it take to make a dream come true? And then the soul... we have one... why can't we feel the pain in another person's eyes? Until its too late, then we realized that we've made a mistake...

Baby why don't you stay? I can't take it any longer, but my will is getting stronger - Sugarland

These songs are running through my head like a slow bullet. The spin shredding my head, the trail of air leaving me with peace. This bullet, cutting through the bullshit that society has created. Hmmm... is it a wonder how we're all slaves? Like puppets on a string we dance, like puppets we are there to be commanded. I see more and more people rising from the ropes, cutting themselves down and offering their heart...

My day is one of the most peaceful and loving I've ever had. She called me at 6 in the morning to say good morning. We ended up talking and I haven't had a tear fall for awhile... not like this. She sat there on the phone, describing every bit of imperfection in my life, described all the pain my relationship with my mom contains... and the sad part, is... I haven't had anyone, not a counselor not a friend or even another family member get this right. She cut through all my bullshit. She cut through my illusions. She told me everything I knew was true and all it came down to was, "Tell your mom you love her, I sense that there's all this distance when I hear you talking to her. She's probably has had a life of pain that is completely different from yours, she's been hurt all this time, just let her know you love her."

This girl, this beautiful girl with such a beautiful soul. I want be so close to her. In my mind I can feel her body against mine, her head on my chest listening to my heartbeat and giggling. I can see her eyes, those amazingly serene emerald eyes, I can feel them boring into mine, cutting through all my charades, to love me. As who I am, who I was, and who I will become. I know she loves me and I love her, but there will be too much pain with a long distance relationship, I would rather her to have someone to love her and take care of her, rather then her feeling nothing but emptiness in her arms.

So I found a reason
To let it go
Tell you that I’m smiling
But I still need to grow
Will I find salvation in the arms of love
Will it stop me searching
Will it be enough

I don’t want your sympathy
Sometimes I don’t know who to be

Hey what you looking for
No one has the answer but you just want more
Hey who’s gonna make it right
This could be the first day of my life

The first time to really feel alive
The first time to break the chain
The first time to walk away from pain

(Melanie C First Day Of My Life)