Friendship wasn't meant for convenience and neither was love. - Me

Life in Grayscale.

 

A thunder like boom against heavens vault

Leaves this innocent at fault

Dark pale face against the walls

Even silence can hear the calls.

 

Another strike, a clap of thunder

Leaves their mind asunder

Catching up to what is gone

While the graves sing solemn songs

 

Thunder resounds across the stormy skies

Leaves another child blind in eye

Separate stories shall emerge

When body and soul diverge.

 

The grey grave which reflects the storm,

Sits alone and recites the poem

Of a life that grays the stone

Drawn black and blue to shattered bone.

It's my birthday, I was awake at 12:00am and Avenged Sevenfold's Afterlife was playing. Right now Nymphetamine is playing, next on my playlist is Happy Birthday by Flipsyde.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=inEhl0Ab3CU

It's my birthday but my sister doesn't get to live hers. She wasn't taken away by abortion, but she died shortly after birth. Sometimes I stare off into space just thinking "what if" and if she's wondering what I'm doing with my life. Looking down on me with hazel eyes, smiling at what I've done or disappointed in what I've become.

I'm 22 and she would have been 21 this year. I really don't care whether or not people choose to have an abortion, but an abortion for the wrong reason is still murder. A child in this current hell we have is not the best of circumstances to grow up in, but it depends how you look at it; while bombs of all types seem to drop around us, we'll still have each other right? At least till our eyes close I hope.

The pain of "what if" hurts more then anything else can. We're all different, but underneath the sky we're all the same, human. We make mistakes, but we shouldn't be trying to ignore them and pretend they don't happen.

Yeah I'm gonna bring it up. Prada, pointless "reality" drama... really? Are those needed in your daily life? I can understand watching a show for entertainments... but 200 dollar shoes... I wouldn't bother caring about it, but when people are getting over money... seems petty to me. But then again, this world isn't me.

I decided to make a few quotes =P.

Life's like a box of chocolates, too bad someone left me just the box.

While the world spins faster and faster around me, the only constant is you.

other then this I don't have anything yet lol.

I started writing this at 11pm, it's 5:16am and I'm tired... Don't be too harsh haha. Btw, I need corrections on somethings (especially the latin, I'm not 100% sure it's right so let me know!)

"Get off the phone already!" Her friend teased her.

"I gotta go, the bitch is bothering me haha! Bye! I love you too... yeah, I know... I miss you too, I'll see you soon? Mkay, bye."

"So you llloooooove him huh?" Her friend smiled teasingly.

"Oh shut up! Ooo, heard your fatass tripped yesterday!"

"NUH-UH! Okay yeah..."

Fits of giggles rose and subsided. Her friend looked at her with gentle eyes, "WHICHHHhh reminds me... How's your mother doing? I heard about car accident."

Smiling, "she's fine... bruises and scratches here and there but she's alright, she's home now! That's the good part."

"Great, she can make me some cake so I can get over my pain."

"Fatass bitch!"

As the fit of laughter subsided the night continued and bloomed when the lights turned off. Her lover a thousand miles away with only a thin invisible line binding the two. She smiled lightly, the moonlight pushing through the leaves and dancing in the room. She smiled at her sleeping friend and dozed off herself.

The world shook and faded but there she stood before a new ivory stone cathedral, her pajama bottoms whipped her skin as the wind continued to flutter by her; her perfect fit baby blue tank top held on for dear life. The clear violence of the crystal blue sky showed bright overhead, but the barely waking ground was calm before her. She could feel the sands of time gently sifting beneath her; the grains lightly dancing across her feet. With the violence of the wind and her hair blowing in her face she stared unblinkingly as the cathedral rose at a threatening height over her; cracks appeared, the shadows expanded and the cathedral aged quickly. Towering before her it agitated her eyes; aged and in contrast against the white sand. She feared the possibilities of what were inside.

The haunting site of the cathedral frightened her as the chill of death seemed to wash over her. She woke with a start and rolled onto her side, the moon still hiding behind the quivering leaves. She heard the sweet voice of a song sparrow ringing in the night. Thinking it odd at all to hear a bird at 2:13am she fell back asleep.

Still before the cathedral fearing what was inside she stepped forward in the dream, with no idea what was going on, her only clues, small etchings on the back of her hands, barely visible in the light. The glow on her hands gleamed momentarily then dissipated as she walked through the doors. She felt the chilling cold stones of the cathedral run up her feet and spine but shook it off and continued on, though the area was gently blanketed in shadow. She walked toward the podium, the benches stretching beside her. She could hear the sand dancing outside, their touch on stone echoed softly inside. Still walking she looked around, shadowed ivory white granite statues of heroes and dry peeling paintings of angels hung on the walls. She looked forward again not noticing everything following her like the eyes of the Mona Lisa.

She ran her hand gently across the dusty benches as she walked by, disturbed the dust ran across each bench as if they were never there, the shadows cleared off the statues, and the painting came alive with color, but she notices nothing.

A few feet ahead the podium stands before her. Indication of time was clear, the podium was coated with dust, years of it weighing down the webs. Behind the podium light was consumed by the shadow the walls gave. She made out a rectangular object behind the podium and feared the worst, the thoughts of death and the jittery feeling she got from the webs woke her.

This time her friend was awake as well, "What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing, just a weird dream."

"It's nothing you can't handle is it? Sometimes life's a dream."

Her friend comforted her and got her to smile and laugh. Even after her friend went too sleep she sat there thinking about the darkness behind the podium. Shaking off the cold needles that stabbed at her she whispered, "I'm glad she's here" and fell asleep once again.

She walked up the steps her eyes fixed on the podium and a dust drenched book she couldn't see before. Behind the podium she flipped through the book, the dust flying off as the pages fell, The podium cleared and the lacquer on the cherry oak podium was now evident. She heard laughter and cheering and looked up into the brightened church. The dust danced down forming people, she recognized her mother sitting there with her sister and smiled, the lines began to glow unnoticed.

She ran down the steps calling out to her mom with a light heart, no answer, more chattering and people appeared as the dust finished falling filling the benches. She recognized most of them as family and friends. Turning around she spots only one person sitting on the other side facing the podium.

"Surprised?"

Walking towards the hooded person cautiously, she still hears chattering around her like the constant pattering of rain.

"What is this place?"

The person's attention still fixed, "the wedding day, look ahead".

Looking up she stood still, her smile came back. A figure stood on the left, the white empire styled gown caressed the figure perfectly, the white 'blush veil' still down. Across from her figure, stood a man, she recognized him as her boyfriend, a little older, more gentle looking. The shadows from behind the podium receded revealing a large statue of an angel kneeling on a raised platform, the wings outstretched, tips reaching towards the front of the cathedral. Arching over it was vine covered trellis.

Her smile widened and her cheeks blushed, a surge of excitement rushed through her, only to notice the fiance was shaking nervously. The figure moved her hand up and held his face, his shaking stopped.

She smiled and felt her heart skip a beat, she walked forward and stood at the bottom of the steps looking slightly up at the couple. With the hand still on his face he closed his eyes and leaned his head into it raising his hand to hold her hand closer to him. Opening his eyes he raised both hands to lift the veil. To her, time slowed down in anticipation, the higher the veil was raised the faster her sank as tears of joy ran down her friend's face. As the kiss came the trellis collapsed as did the wings, a surge of dust rose, the people faded and the shadows rushed past her. As the last shadow came in place, the hooded person turned to her fading, "your hands".

Looking at her hands she could only read the left, 'somnium planto res', drops of rain running from the windows fell down her face and exploded on her hands. She could see the glow becoming brighter till she woke. The thin line stretching the distances shivered and the lover felt it, only to roll over restlessly, his body tense, his mind inspired with nightmares.

She looked out the window the sun beginning to rise for the new day, she turned around only to see her friend looking at her tired and worried.

"You took latin didn't you?"

Her friend yawned and rubbed her eyes, "yeah..."

"What's 'somnium planto res' mean?"

"dreams set in place occurrence", her friend looked at her tired and flopped back on her bed and went back to sleep.

Angry and bitter she hid her feelings. As the years passed she changed, the trust between her and the world fell through. He left her side and left her to drown in her anger and bitterness. Her friends stayed by, the lines fluctuating violently. The dream had consumed her mind, it kept recurring, it ended the same way each time.

52 and level-headed the dream happened again, this time the hooded figure lowered her hood. It was herself, she didn't understand. The tears were still raining and welling up in her eyes. The figure looked at her gently and said, "your hands", she read the words that were etched into her hands. "Somnium planto res" one the left, "vos imperium res" on the right.

"Do you know what it means darling child?"

"n-oo-no"

"You're old enough to understand 'life's a dream.'"

"Th-a-that's wha-t-t, she t-tol-d mh-me..."

"And?" Her counterpart smiled gently.

Wiping the tears from her eyes, "dre-ams s-set in puh-place occ-occurrence."

"You're forgetting the right hand now aren't you?" Her double held her right hand gently and read, "Vos imperium res, it means 'You rule over occurrences.' In the end darling child, life is what you make of it, what you create it to be. The cathedral is your sanctuary, your safe place. The statues your friends, the paintings, your life's work, the angel, yourself. Protect the ties you hold precious, the wife your best friend, the boy... boys are boys, get a man. The point is the ties you have are precious... hold onto them."

Her tears and crying began to stop, but still it left a small puddle on the bench, it showed the cherry oak, the figure began to fade for the last time, but as she did she tapped the puddle expanding it. The puddle rushed across the bench to the ground and across her surroundings. Her resentment lifted with the epiphany and she truly woke. It was 6:12 and her friend laid sprawled on the bed drooling on her pillow.

She sniffled a little and rubbed her eyes, "that's just gross... ugh bitch."

References:

I had this in mind when I was thinking about the dress -_-:
http://www.weddingsolutions.com/fashion_and_beauty/Dress_Styles_Empire.html
A cross between:
http://nimrodel.net/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/wedding-dress-for-petite-women.jpg
(style, length)
http://www.thebridalshop.com/maggiesottero/images/S793.jpg
(color, ribbon)
http://www.weddingsolutions.com/fashion_and_beauty/Dress_Veils_Blusher.html

I kinda want to draw all that now hahaha.

I feel f-n girly now... I'm gonna go lift some weights and burn this story from my mind.

It's for Hollywood Undead's Young. Watch it and tell me what you think!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7XhI-CfyRRY

Hopefully you guys know that Tupac's birthday passed a few days ago. June 16, 1971

Celebrating Tupac and all hes done
Four shots and he still holds on
Heart stopped beating at 24
But we still remember him forever more
His legacy spans the shining shores
Throughout all the open doors

Story of a social activist
Fought for rights an shit
Fought an believed in dreams
An yet this society doesn't even know what it means.

Story of a man gone down
Legend that rose from the underground
Personal favorite is "Broken Wings"
Spits meaning, truth of life an different things

Born into a worthless world of full violence
Brawling throughout life to fight off tyrants
Restringing his life from loose tied ends
Looking forward to freedom, but what by then?
Only to be shot down again and again

Through all the worlds faults
Supremacy and all the cults
He struggled to survive, and fight for equal rights
A single man to take a dive, into the heartless darkness
Even after he's dead and gone
His voice and legend still holds on.
-----------------------------------------------------
This is just because I'm feeling a beat inside my mind right now lol.

We gangsta, we're thugs
But you don't know us
No you don't know us
We sell tha dime bags for a living
To sleep under a broken ceiling
No you don't know us
You don't know us

In front, riding them spinnin wheels
Behind empty walls lookin for deals
Because a nine-to-five
Won't work for an ex-convict life
Working to pay, paying to work
While my child sits at home crying, hurt
Can't understand why we so poor
Can't comprehend the gangsta's war

Real thugs working to live
Bitches are working to die
One's workin to survive
Can't tell which one leads this life?
Well let me paint if for you
This is the child that you grew and knew

We gangsta, we're thugs
But you don't know us
No you don't know us
People on the streets expectin us killing
You dont know us deep inside, forgotten feelings
No you don't know us
You don't know us

Don't you think it's a little fucked up
A young one holding up a glock
Ready to light up a desperate block
He's got his mind set on death
While his dad shoots up meth
A child out for revenge in a world so small
Even then somehow we don't hear him at all
His silent plea, and empty calls
Another boy's body took a shot and had to fall
This little one's mind still trying to catch up with it all

We gangsta, we're thugs
But you don't know us
No you don't know us
Growing up with an empty feeling
Shots that'll make your skin start peeling
No you don't know us
You don't know us

Now twenty and still serving time
Wishing that his life would just rewind
From the robbery, just to eat yah see
To the drugs he sold, just to have some dough
To the bullet in the gun, that had to end a youngun.
From the fake ass bitch, tryin to start some shit
To the dad inside, too damn high
To realize, through empty eyes
That a child's life, is worth more then guns and knives

In the end, you don't know us
We're gangstas, we're thugs
But you don't know us
We're the one's too broke to live
And find ways with the end of a shiv.

Clarity: "clearness or lucidity as to perception or understanding; freedom from indistinctness or ambiguity."

So where do we draw the line?

1) when children starve,

2) animals that aren't being adopted are being put to sleep,

3) babies are being born blue because of nitrate,

4) factories are being being built in an area do to racial profiling,

5) jobs are being taken away because companies ship over seas,

6) The amount we spend on medicare vs the money we spent to save Companies and banks, is more then a few billion

7) Dumbass people can't even walk a foot away too a trash can

8) Peta takes shit too far

9) People take shit too far

10) Armed force corruption (I.e. Police violence/stupidity)

11) Murder, rape... pretty much violence runs through our streets.

12) Spanking your child on the butt to discipline them is now Domestic Violence, Compare that to a parent that throws there kid, there's a clear difference, get your priorities straight.

13) Instead of trying to help teens understand the world, we lie to them. Which in turn makes them curious about the subject and go into it.

14) Drugs will kill you, Weed is Deadly. No fucker Weed does not DEADLY. Before your sorry "Adult" ass prints copies of how "Deadly weed" is, How you quit smoking cigarettes and cigars, you contradictory bastard.

15) Officers: How about before Citing someone for doing something dangerous, you get them OUT of the danger zone, instead of giving them the ticket IN the danger zone? In short, something that should have been COMMON sense should be addressed here...

16) With 15 being stated, Officers: Get your priorities straight. (Citizens too)

17) Officers: Yes, I do respect you, but you do realize you aren't above the law right? You electricute, shoot, beat, claim lies, and do shit cause you're bored. Huh... guess you aren't. But to those officers. All nations raise a middle finger and turns it's head when you get fucked. (This doesn't just happen in America obviously)

18) Speaking about NO ONE is above the law, HEY BUSH, FUCK YOU!

19) Beside all the things that happen in the news about cops. Believe it or not but there are good cops out there, that mean to do good. There are kind officers as well as horrible ones. But with that being said.

20) There are kind CITIZENS as well as HORRIBLE (Stupid, Ignorant, Dumb ass shit) ones. So shut your trap. (Before you diss the officer, figure out exactly wtf that citizen did. "Maybe that drug dealer given shit to your child did deserve to be tazed after all". Just sayin as an example, cause people do run into quick accusations based on what they see and not what they know.)

21) Hmm... I didn't realize that a gucci bag, a new cell phone, was more important then the homeless person asking for some food, better be careful, might be your ass out there soon in this economy.

22) People take shit for granted, enough said.

Yes these problems have been in and out of conversations/debates for years, ages, and centuries. I'm not stupid enough to point out the obvious without a reason... it has happened over and over but hey, WAKE UP! My point is that it's STILL happening... Shit! NO WONDER PEOPLE STILL TALK ABOUT IT! CAUSE IT'S STILL GOING ON! (Told you I have a reason to point out the obvious)

We talk about 3rd world countries. What the fuck happened to 2nd world? I'll define that now, it's right in front of you, the middle class and lower class. The "First Country" does not include all of America and well off countries, it includes CEO's and Corrupted officials.

His name a poem
I doubt you know him
He turned his head
While your soul bled
Forsook a great city
To have something pretty
He; is normally defined as a man
But another sense; all of human clan

We all make mistakes, it's a part of our life, a part of the way we grow. But if we keep making the same mistakes, how do we grow, how can we let our children grow? How do you choose to let them grow? In a world full of hate, full of violence, in a world where they can't even appreciate what's around them?

My generation approaches mother/father hood or is already in it. Those before us laid down the errors we should fix. What path do you want to take?

I've been so stressed and stuff... BUT! there's good news. I enjoyed making films for my film class, so far I've made TWO! XP. I've never actually recorded anything so it was great doing this, a lot of stress though.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q2eGYu7IxGk

This is the first film I ever made. I didn't have a camcorder at the time, so I ended up using the Sony Exlim. Comment and rate it! I wanna see if my hard work paid off lol. I also included bloopers lol.

Reading an article about Jackie Chan, voicing his opinion about how he's unsure if Hong Kong is ready for freedom. He believes that if they're given their freedom they'll go too far.

That post received comments like:

"What a f__king idiot! This is a prime example of why entertainers should just shut their mouths and get the hell out of social politics."

"Jackie Chan has obviously taken one too many kung fu blows to his noggin....what a typically moronic statement from a celebrity; I guess the American film community isn't the only one thats full of idiots."

"He should keep his chink a$$ in commie land. Stay out of America. What an idiot. Send him to tibet and let the police beat him."

And these guys actually got thumbs up? Seriously... WHAT THE FUCK PEOPLE?! GOD DAMN!

HOW THE FUCK ARE YOU GOING TO DEFEND FREEDOM WHEN YOU'RE BASHING SOMEONE ELSE FOR IT?! And even going as far as making racist comments and saying mean and degrading comments to someone who has their heart set out to do the right thing? HOW THE HELL IS THAT FREEDOM?!

Here's FREEDOM FOR YOU FUCKERS WHO DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS!

Freedom is the fight our forefathers had to die for, they died so we would be able to walk outside without fearing our neighbor's going to bash us. Democracy was meant for the people to voice as ONE, to live in peace as one.

But in this day an age, where the youth flip off and "rebel" against their parents, companies go over seas, men and women are being fired and layed off for no reason, where someone can sue someone else till they're poorer then the dirt they end up in. This is the ONLY country where the ex leader of it can take advantage of it and walk away unscathed.

I love my freedom, I love being American and I don't believe our forefathers fought so we could tarnish their history and become the most feared (instead of revered) and wasteful country.

Here's the funny fucking part, we all hate our f-n government but for some reason we love it more then all the others. DECIDE ALREADY! I have a friend who's in India, and it's the most peaceful he's ever been or seen others. Although he works and does other things, everyone's peaceful and doesn't really care.

The things that corrupt people: Religion, Politics, Material Goods, and Money.

If you have something bad to say, Go ahead and say it Punk, I'll give you a reason to question. But don't be fucking ignorant about things.

The Snow Leopard Trust (www.snowleopard.org) needs your help!

They would like to you to sign up for their eNews and have others sign up as well. For every new subscriber, the Kearsley Fund will donate $2 to the Snow Leopard Trust. Their goal is 3000, but they are NOWHERE CLOSE! However, if we all sign up and post this in our journals, we can help donate up to $6000 for snow leopard conservation!

http://www.snowleopard.org/news/currentnews/sign-up-to-save-snow-leopards

PLEASE HELP!